I'd rather eat than gift chocolates,
Orchids are daylight robbery
And candle-light dinners are too dim -
I like to see what I eat.
If you want guys who:
a) Cook exotic Japanese dinners
b) Book surprise vacations to Goa or
c) Strum a mean guitar
Don't come to me.
I can do poetry though
And say 'I love you' in French and Italian
(Je t'aime and ti amo, to get that over with).
I do the man-of-the-house-changes-lightbulbs stuff
Just as good as anyone else.
You want a guy to get on his knees
With scrubbing-brush and soap water
On the bathroom flooor on Sunday?
I'm your man.
Put a sparkle on washed dishes,
Be at home with Harpic bottles
And pay insurance premia on time?
- No problem.
But don't ask me to cook;
I can just about make tea
But can't boil a potato into submission.
I won't stare with glazed eyes
While you're buying curtains
But make helpful suggestions too
If I understand the colours
(Turquoise, beige, mauve and lavender I don't);
I don't walk ahead of the women
When we go somewhere
Or abandon them at a party
While I'm drinking away,
But I cannot con your school-friends
into believing what a perfect husband I am.
Well, I don't know how to end this,
For it's not an end I'm seeking with you,
But a beginning.