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“Remove the Ganpati from main door.
Move the god on the left to the right.
Move the god on the east to the south.
Do this. Do that. It will bring prosperity.
Paint your toilet yellow.
Keep cupboards on opposite walls.
Shift your stamp-cabinet to southwest.
That will remove negative energy from house.
You are keeping many gods in house.
It is good sign. But they will not be happy,
because you are keeping dog in house.
Do as I am saying.
God will shower blessings on you.”

Go away. Go far far away.
I don't want you and your god.
What kind of god is he that
will bless a house with yellow toilets only?
And if the saints say that He is everywhere,
how does it matter whether he be
in the south or east or southwest?
And by what rules of physics do
opposing cupboards remove negative energy?

My dog is my god,
for he brings me happiness.
Is that not a god's task?
My idols are my gods.
For in them I see Him
and adore Him.
My toilets, my cupboard, my house,
they are my gods.
For they give me shelter,
warmth and peace.

Go away! Take your beads and books,
crosses, charms, whatever.
Go and frighten frailer men.
I know my god.
He is I, and I am Him.


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