I
"Darling", said my truest love,
"Tell me that you love me."
So I told my truest love
That she was loved by me.
"Don't give me words, you cheeky man,
You're good at them I say.
Show by action how you can
Your love for me display."
"I knew it coming, dearest dear,
So do not twist to rhyme.
Tell me what you want to hear.
What do you want this time?"
"I don't want any diamonds. No,
I already have many.
Nor to any foreign country go;
You haven't that much money."
"I'll take you once to Pretoria,
To China and The Rhine
And at the Waldorf-Astoria
In splendour we shall dine."
"You can take me to Washington
All in the course of time.
But lets get to the Sheraton
And have French food and wine."
"I love you dear, I really do.
I swear it love of mine!
But one month's pay, and next month's too
For fancy cheese and wine!"
"I knew you'd say this all this while;
My wishes you never heed.
Please me with flowers and a smile,
You think that's all I need."
"You're allergic to flowers, love.
I dare not give you any.
But for you my precious dove,
I shall not spare a penny.">/span>
So at the Sheraton we dine
With my heart in my hands.
Oh! This lovely fool of mine,
She never understands!
II
"I shall have some Beaujolais
And truffe aux champignons.
And he will have the Chardonnay
With légumes Parisiennes."
"You must have everything you wish,
O verse from the Rubai'at!
But to want the most expensive dish,
Is what is called 'Qayamat'."
"I am the reason why you live
Or do you disagree?
It is not very expensive,
Just one month's salary!"
"I'll have to live on cabbages,
Sandwiches and weak tea.
Your wild fancy ravages
My tenuous solvency."
"I make capital cabbage stew,
I brew very good tea.
I'll make you some sandwiches too.
Enjoy your bankruptcy!"
The dishes come and I begin
To eat my final meal.
But my love for her is put again
To yet one more ordeal.
She eats so very daintily;
Her style is prettier still.
She also eats to scantily;
She has soon had her fill.
"The truffle's good, but not my taste,
I should have had Swiss cheese.
I'm sad to see such food go waste
But it's too rich in Calories!
My friends had been raving why
I must try out this food.
But I'm annoyed that it's priced so high;
It's not at all that good!
Three morsels are all I can eat,
So you can have the rest.
It has been such a lovely treat.
You really are the best."
"You are my pretty ocean-pearl,
My soul's one destiny.
But do not inflict on me, girl,
Such heartless tyranny."
"I'm sorry, dear, I really am.
But I can eat no more.
Cheer up, my manly ram
And do not be so sore.
My hero, I am happy now
That I am loved by you.
I must repay the favour now,
What do I do for you?"
"You are all I ever need,
I care not for the rest.
But do me one little deed
And put my heart at rest."
"I know what you're hinting at;
It is always the same.
It is not tough to predict that;
Love is an easy game!"
"I am not keen on love-display;
I'm too tired for that.
Love me in a better way:
Please
Please
Please.........eat that!"
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