Sorry

I want to say sorry to you.
I could say in lots of lovely
flower-bedecked words.
That is my one gift from God.
But will it unspeak,
undo the words I said?
Ugly, unthinking words
- the abuse of my sacred gift?

What will the sorry do?
It may hide, It will not heal.
The scar will not go away.
I can say stupid things in defence.
I can say I bear things said to me
with a grin and not resent.
So should you.
Foolish things to say.

I can say silly things
that make me pretend
that I have escaped
from the web of guilt
that I have spun for myself.
Only to say something
more imbecile
and fall into my own trap.

Even these words will only
weave that web even more.
I can give you some more
fancy words that mean nothing.
Just lots and lots of words.
One more poem, a little balm
to pretend all is well.
But they are all I have.

But I cannot let go of you.
That I will never do.