Autophony

This puzzle was first invented by C. L. Dodson, and published in The Monthly Packet' in 1881. I have set it in verse form, crack it in prose or verse. The cake is iced, the pudding set, Veal and viand are ready. Cider, champagne and claret: The flow of wine is steady. With loving care, do we prepare A table set for three. For me some meat, for wife a seat, And a guest have we. My father's dear brother-in-law Is a good candidate, But brother's cherished pa-in-law, We do not bear him hate. Father-in-law's brother dear We would love to invite, Brother-in-law's father we fear, We cannot do him spite. For deserve, but one we serve, Do set our hearts at ease! Four men to dine, also to wine, With whom share we our peas?

I can hear the owls again. Can you hear their soft tu-whoo, The courser’s sharp kwik-kwoo, The call of the sole moorhen? The night is quiet again, So the nightjar can sing too. And a sporadic moo, I can hear it now and then! The little crickets court; With love-ballads seldom heard Their talents do employ. What is it that they purport? Its music rediscovered, Now the darkness rings with joy! This was written in response to the Supreme Court verdict banning noise at night . (Published in Chants of Peace , the anthology of the 9th International Poetry Fest, 20-21 September, 2016 at JKC College, Guntur, edited by Prof. P Nagasuseela and Prof. P Gopichand .)

The US recently declassified documents in which Nixon and Kissinger called our IG colourful names when her armies ran rings around his favourite Pak. Here's a politically incorrect ditty (slightly modified from Queen), of what IG might have said to him: Nicky you’re a prez make a big noise Playin’ with the world actin’ like a big man some day You got mud on yo’ face You big disgrace Kickin’ your CIA all over the place We will we will rock you We will we will rock you Kissy you’re an old man cold man Whisperin’ in corners gonna piss off the world some day You got blood on yo’ face You big disgrace Sneakin’ your tricks all over the place We will we will rock you We will we will rock you Buddy I’m an old witch sly bitch Hammerin’ your Pak, gonna make you taste mud some day You’ll get mud in your face You big disgrace Somebody better put you back in your place We will we will rock you We will we will rock you (With apologies to Queen and none to Nixon and Kissinger.)